Is Love a Losing Game!!??

So where do I begin *channeling inner Carrie Bradshaw*....Dating as a 30 something gay man can really be the pits. 

After all the mental and physical hard work you've done in your 20s you can now reap the benefits. 

So one would say dating is easy right!?? HA!! think again....My story or should I say RANT begins here...

There are multiple factors that play a major part in this to the point where it has me thinking what is wrong with me? 

Growing up gay I didn't have a lot of role models that can show me what it is to be gay or how to survive this gay lifestyle. So you go through life figuring out yourself and start to be secure with the person you become(ing), but once you're there mentally you want a companion to share it with.

So you chose to dip your toe into the dating pool and take a chance to see what comes from it. 

You can explore the gay nightlife with the hopes to find someone to date but it ends up being a casual hook up that ends the next morning. Or you could go on the dating apps and get disappointed on a different level. Because if your pics aren't cute enough (thanks to bad lighting) no one will look at your profile or you run into the whole masculine and feminine thing. Basically meaning you have to exude hella masculine traits or uber feminine traits that can be seen on your profile and that will determine if you're a chosen one. What about us men who fall in between the masc or fem realm? But lets not talk about the whole top, bottom and verse thing. There's never enough tops, too many bottoms or being verse you get told that you're a bottom in disguise (RUDE).

Being 30ish you are now at that pivotal part of life where you want to be as open as the younger gays but ready to settle down like the older gays who have come before you. So this is where I start to second guess myself....Mentally I am mature and still love to have fun, but am I too confident? Am I not damaged enough to be taken care of? Is my aura intimidating? The insecurities I hide showing?

These are questions I ask myself daily and I wish I knew the answer to why is it so hard to date?

So in all actuality this wasn't just a rant is was me getting something off my chest and now I feel better!!!!

 Slay the day away,

Jay